To North, My Good Boy

I am the proud guardian of two cats. I like the feeling of being roommates with your animals—they kinda do their thing & I kinda do mine. We run into each other at the water cooler, sometimes we spoon. Sometimes they really don’t wanna be around me at all, for neither love nor money.

Maybe you have a similarly languid lifestyle, your apartment doesn’t allow pets, or the grooming alone is enough to turn you off. Then there’s claw-proofing furniture, the pet sitter for vacations, vet fees, training. The Dog Whispering bills start to add up*.

Well, I have the next best thing since the pet rock: Puppy play.

I know what you’re thinking: A new fetish? That shit is expensive! You expect me to get into puppy play in this economy?? It’s just D/s with more steps!

I know, the elaborate music video for Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood will have you believe you have to pull out all the stops before you can feel confident in your dog rearing. & if you don’t have the Neoprene hood, the paws, the buttplug tail, you may feel intimidated.

Let me tell you, as a puppy play owner, you can go as far as your imagination will take you. 

My pup, North, has his own special bandana. He has other gear, but all he needs to be a puppy is that little piece of cloth. It’s blue with little white bones all over, a $3 trinket I got at Passional. Tie it on & that’s it, we’re dog & guardian!

Remember I mentioned having a very laissez-faire attitude around my furry pets? I find I have the same philosophy around my human pet. Sure, he jumps on the furniture & he begs for snacks. What’s “bad” yet adorable behavior in a dog, I can gleefully allow with my human pet. Plus, this way you can get consent before you get a nose in your crotch/ass.

When I approach any roleplay scenario, I like to think of what the reality of that situation is & translate it into a fantasy. Maybe you want to have a well-honed German Shepard that fetches your newspaper. Maybe you want a retired Greyhound that mostly sleeps on the couch with you. North is a Golden Retriever, so he’s friendly, full of love, & a little stupid, all of which I cherish about him.

I think there is a great, wide world out there for exploring our sexuality. What does sex & devotion look like? Sex & companionship, sex & discipline? What does it look & feel like to experience our sexual desires beyond the physical act?

*this is purely a joke—Cesar Millan is like the Trunchbull of dog behavioralists